Existential Love
After having many extreme experiences in the presence and absence of love, I’ve started to intuitively believe that there is simply one love. The one stream of unconditional universal love that flows through all of us; to all of us. What i want to contemplate in these words is what we’ve collectively started to call ‘loving another person”. This is a highly important topic as others can show us things that enhance the feeling of love, but the love we feel is unitary, meaning we feel it for ourselves and for life itself. Others mirroring us a deeper sense of inner truth, wholeness and understanding can be one of the most beautiful aspects of life, but can we really say ‘I’m in love with that person’? Because if we do so then we place the responsibility of this sense of inner wholeness outsides of us, i.e. the other. We become subconscious victimized and drained by seeking this love outside of ourselves instead of taking passionate, bold and authentic steps towards our highest potential, wildest fantasies and deepest fulfillment. This does not imply that we do not need the other, or that a relationship can be tremendously awe-inspiring, but it does mean that we cannot rely on the other for our wholeness, sense of love and sovereignty in life. But on the other hand, I do believe that reality reaches a next level or realness when it is shared.
That’s why I’ve dived into 21 aspects that others can give us that make us feel the most sensual, eternal and wondrous vibration in existence; love.
The List: 21 Needs
Inspiration
The other can snap us out of our conditioning and inspire us to behave, see and create life in a certain way.
Insight
The other can take away our doubt, ignorance and confusion by sharing conceptual understanding into the nature of ourself.
Direction
The other can inspire us with an example of self-love, identity and direction in life when we’re lost and looking.
Attention
The other can praise us by telling us how interesting, beautiful, gifted or important we are.
Romance
The other can sensually induce us with a mysterious, vocal and exciting sense of romance.
Recognition
The other can deeply validate how important, worthy and lovable we are.
Patience
The other can set time into perspective.
Hope & Expectation
The other can give us hope by making (and sometimes keeping) promises.
Belonging
The other and the people they know can give us the experience of deep companionship.
Security
The other can add to our feeling of security in terms of existential survival.
Caring
The other can care for our needs, desires and fantasies.
Financial Resources
The other can help us cover certain monetary needs and expenses.
Support
The other can spiritually, emotionally and mentally lift us up by their presence.
Sexual Experience
The sexual experience in every form and the bliss, wonder and unity it can arouse.
Trust & ‘Self’ Belief
The other can sincerely and firmly believe in our reliability, truth, and power.
Food
The other can enrichen us by giving or cooking us nutritious & delicious food.
Emotional Stimulation
The other can make us experience all sorts of mystery, fascination and pleasure.
Wonder
The other can reminds us of the miracle of life of being alive as a human being.
Levity
The other can gently remind us not to take life and ourselves overly seriously.
Human Touch
The feeling of belonging and intimacy derived from a simple human touch.
The ability to Share
The other allows us to share what is real within us, to share the beauty.
The Chance to Lose Yourself
The other allows us a chance to transcend into full unity.
Sum Total = Truth, Love & Wholeness/Unity.
The question is, can we give these existential needs to ourselves, or do we need the other? The experience of this emotional shifting in our needs; the polarization process and its continual, vibrant and vast spectrum of energies, frequencies and emotional intelligence, is what we experience as our energetic being, our aura, our self and our energetic balance. What we are and what we are able to attract. At times we feel a deeper sense of balance, wholeness and unity, resulting in a sense of self-realization, truth and love. But when these needs are fulfilled from outside of us, does that mean we love the other, or that the other makes us realize the dormant depth of love already within us with greater intensity? What is really important is to understand is that the constant shifting of needs and energies is a confronting and constant emotional mixture of polar dualities that requires our conscious awareness, as it can be balanced by choice, e.g.:
Fear/Love
Shame/Pride
Guilt/Innocence
Certainty/Vulnerability
Frustration/Satisfaction
Avoidance/Confrontation
Victimhood/Responsibility
Clinginess/Non-Attachment
Whenever life presents us with a new impulse or a new incoming catalyst; a new trigger that can slightly pull us out of balance so to speak; we can either do one of both things:
react passively, unaware, reactively and be thrown out of balance, or
we can use our conscious awareness, intuitive response and our discernment to feel how we got thrown out of balance and bring ourselves back into it.
For example, a parent may blame us for something out of their rigid certainty. We can then either get lost in a guilty victim role, or we can perceive and forgive ourselves and our inner child for being imperfect and move on with personal power and innocence. Or when a friend may load their pressure, impatience and stress onto us, we can either carry on their stress and take it into our own life or we can take a moment to reconnect, ground and rebalance ourselves to our own natural rhytm. Or if a certain habit keeps us stuck in shameful patterns over and over again bring us shame over and over again, we may ask ourselves if it’s actually harmonious to us or if we’re acting out of a need of validation or certainty. We will keep feeling this imbalance until we change set a more harmonious boundary, change our perspective and ultimately change our behavior, or else the pattern will keep repeating itself until we learn the lesson.
This is why text, Whatsapp, email or social media messages can be so toxic, harmful and destructive towards our own personal power, emotional balance and feeling of self-love, because they bring many different catalysts, impulses or triggers at once, making it very hard to feel, discern and rebalance the imbalances they invoke in our emotional system. Another way in which this problem manifests is the following: a past role of ours may have been an online entrepreneur, a musician or a coach, but if we decided to move past that role, it will be extra challenging if we keep getting ‘digital entrepreneur, music or coaching emails’ in our daily mailbox, or if we seeing those examples and role models on our social media feed. This intensely robs us from our personal power, wholeness, acceleration and unified trajectory through life. Hopefully you can see this.
Creating a Polar Balance
We experience life as a duality, in the sense that we will experience, and often even need both sides of the coin to fully grasp what Love is. Although we should aim for a healthy balance, it’s also important to recognize we need both dualities. Fear allows us to develop strategies for survival, pleasure and purpose. Shame drives us towards unity and our full potential on the road of self-actualization. Guilt forces us to make more authentic and harmonious decisions. Experiencing and embracing the extremes of life to the fullest in order to realize our highest balance. The excitement of the dark and the beauty of the light. This requires us to be conscious, wise and discerning about which choice to make, as we can choose an experience that balances the experienced emotional imbalance. Use your emotional sacral response to intuitively guide you through this process. The choice that polarizes your experience into satisfaction, peace and love. It’s possible to realize, through memory, a psychedelic illumination or a future experience, that at the core of our mental, dual and polarized mental maze of emotions one does indeed find the eternal, unconditional and fully unified sensual love of Creation. This is also what is referred to as philosophical, hermetic of spiritual alchemy. Choosing gold.
Yes, although the other can give us some of these things, we can also give lots of them to ourselves through free will and choosing experiences that match these vibratory frequencies symbolic energies. The more we create the aspects of life that our inner child needs and wants, the more we feel whole, complete and fully able to take authority, responsibility and ownership of ourselves and thus our lives. The more we feel one, cosmically connected and untouchably on top, ultimately able to be, feel, think and choose with the full scope of our consciousness, awareness and free will.
Will we make it to the other side or do we lose ourselves into to weakness, victimization and submissive reactivity? Time will tell, as it strengthens the spiritually strong and weakens the spiritually weak. Remember that you are deep within you are whole. The choice is yours. You can be the difference. You can be the voice of Love, receiving the difference you make. Writing this I realised that sharing experience with another is the most magical things, and that we truly need each other. We are each other. Reminding ourselves, as I am you and we are us. One collective generation extrasensually traveling through the adventures of space.
I am.
I am the other.
I am you.
Loving you.
