How to Hold on to Or Let Go Of Antying: in this Case e.g. Love
HOW TO PRACTICE LOVE
What does it mean to say "I love you"? How do you become a better lover? A comprehensive list of ways to love others.
1. Attention, awareness and time to the subject
2. Physical contact and proximity
3. Connection: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual (deepest)
4. Taking care of the subject, care about its needs and help it to survive and exist, creates bias and attachment to the subject
5. Preventing (the most, so the subject can handle) suffering, fear, trauma for the subject (parenting). Intent: independence of the subject
6. Defending it, being loyal
7. Taking its values and priorities for us and extend ourselves with that. Treating it as ourselves. Makes us vurnerable, makes its survival our survival.
8. Treat others as good as you want to be treated
9. Be happy about their successes as much as for yours
10. Wanting for it what it wants for itself, not what yourself want
11. Encourage it for itself, not for you
13. Respecting its sovereignty, not trying to manipulate it, respect that you are neither above nor below it
14. Full acceptance of it, no need to change it
15. Valuing it for its own sake
16. Appreciate it as it is, seeing its beauty
17. Not needing something from it
18. Respecting its point of view, wanting to understand it
19. Listening and caring about their interests
20. Sense of company and collaboration
21. Being there when they are hopeless and at their lowest
22. Helping it not to feel lonely
23. Validating its feelings (emotional connection) Question: How are you feeling?
24. Share emotions
25. Meeting the other where its at
26. Understanding and forgiving them
27. Being patient
28. Seeing their goodness and God in them even when they can‘t see it
29. Recognizing its uniqueness, honoring its uniqueness, complimenting that
30. Generosity, kindness
31. Verbal approval and praise
33. Peace and trying to remain in peace, as conflict kills love
34. Telling the truth, not lying
35. Safety and trust, sacrifice in order to remain that
36. Seeing the others realness, wanting to see it how it is, not in another way
37. Accepting its selfishness, not wanting to change that
Love = Selflessness
What is breaking love?
1. Violence
2. Abuse
3. Hate
4. Anger
5. Judgement
6. Criticism
7. Fear
9. Exploitation
10. Cheating
11. Stealing
13. Not making time for
14. Not listening
18. Demonization
19. Moralization
20. Blame
21. Disrespect
22. Ridicule
23. Breaking promises
24. Projection
25. Gaslighting
26. Not caring about the others’ suffering
27. Punishment, esp. for making mistakes
28. Revenge
29. Close-mindedness
30. Trying to correct the other